Top 10 Movies I DIDN'T See This Year

I've determined that 2006 is the year that passed me by quicker than any before it. To celebrate that depressing fact, I've decided to analyze all that I've missed in various disciplines and give explanations for my failures.

And thus being a self-proclaimed Movie King, I shall begin with a list of the Top 10 Movies that I didn't see this year and why. Keep in mind that to qualify for the list the movie needed to be released wide in 2006. I didn't need any additional obstacles, like having to see the midnight showing of Letters from Iwo Jima down near Battery Park on December 30th. I could barely make it 4 blocks to the 68th street AMC the rest of the year, I don't need to feel guilt about spanning the island of Manhattan to see a movie with subtitles.

1) The Queen
Having spent 1/2 my year writing for a gay TV channel, I figured I'd seen enough queens. Then I found out that it wasn't that kind of movie. But I was out of crumpets so I went and saw X-Men 3.

2) The Departed
Heard that you get to see Jack Nicholson's willy in this movie. Then I was left with too many you can't handle the truth jokes to be able to sit through the movie.

3) Flags of Our Fathers
And the funny thing is that I was kicking myself since this was really my only chance to analyze how the American political machine and war go hand in hand.

4) Akeelah & The Bee
I bought a grande Chai Latte at Starbucks. Isn't that enough?

5) Little Children
I swear, you make one wrong turn and you wind up seeing Little Miss Sunshine...

6) The Pursuit of Happyness
It really warms my heart to know that Will Smith and his son could bond for a few months over the idea of being poor and destitute..while sitting in their trailers..

7) The Last King of Scotland
Forrest Whitaker scares me. Ever since Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Seriously.

8) The Holiday
You know I just learned this movie didn't have Queen Latifah in it. Turns out it was a Jack Black movie. So really, the chances were slim I was gonna see it anyway...

9) Blood Diamond
Wait you mean that Djimon Hounsou is playing a noble Black man in trying circumstances? Get outta town!

10) All the King's Men
So what your telling me is that power corrupts people? Nah, I don't buy it.

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2006 Awards Tracker (Psst: Put money on Helen Mirren winning)