DeJesus He Knows Me

I've needed some Outfield help in my fantasy league and as luck (or divine intervention) would have it, I came across David Dejesus of the Kansas City Royals, who this week alone has assured me of victory. And for that I feel that I owed him a tribute, in song.

A Testament from Rob to God (With a Little Help from Genesis)

I was lost, but now I’m found. See I’ve been wandering the deserts of fantasyland for 40 days and 40 nights, searching for a piece of paradise. I lacked faith, but this Passover, God found me. And I believe. And I want you all to believe.

See I’ve been touched by the hand of God. And as my logo will show you, when you’ve been touched by the hand of God, miracles happen.

See DeJesus, he knows me. And he’s been telling me everything’s gonna be alright. We’ve been talking and this is what he’s said…

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You see the face on the tv screen.
Coming at you every Sunday night
See that face on the billboard
That man is Chris Berman.

On the cover of the magazines
There’s no question why I’m smiling
You want a piece of paradise
But you need a piece of Pujols

I’ll get you everything you wanted
I’ll get you everything you need
You don’t need to believe in Hermida
Just believe in me

Cos (David) DeJesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to DeJesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
And he’s been telling me
Everything is alright

I believe in the family
With my ever loving wife beside me
But she don’t know about Helton
Or the injury he had last night

Do you believe in Bonds?
Cos that’s what Greg’s selling
And if you wanna get to the playoffs
I’ll see you right

You won’t even have to leave your house
Or get outta your chair
You don’t even have to reload the scoreboard
Cos he’s everywhere

And DeJesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to DeJesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
Well he’s been telling me
Everything’s gonna be alright

Won’t find me preaching the long ball
Won’t find me making no sacrifices
But I can get you a pocketful of Mariners
If you promise to be good, try to be nice
God will take good care of you
Just do as I say, don’t do as I do

I’m counting my bases on balls,
I’ve found Abreu’s happiness
And I’m getting richer by dropping Zach Day

You can find me in the phone book,
Just call my toll free number
You can do it anyway you want
Just do it right away

There’ll be no doubt in your mind
You’ll believe everything I’m saying
If you wanna get closer to him
Get on your knees and start paying

Cos DeJesus he knows me
And he knows I’m right
I’ve been talking to DeJesus all my life
Oh yes he knows me
And he knows I’m right
Well he’s been telling me
Everything’s gonna be alright, alright

DeJesus he knows me
DeJesus he knows me, you know...

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David Dejesus